Wednesday, August 21, 2002

Hahaha, oh my gosh MEI MEI my dog is so funny! I don't know how she wants to eat so much! I kinda did an experiment, where I just held a grape and watched her try to get it and look at it for like 5 minutes! Don't think I am being mean! hehe:) she just wants to eat anyway and looks for food all day so 5 minutes is nothing to her and plus she got the grape in the end:) I wonder how long I can get her to try to get a peice of food from me, but maybe more than 5 minutes is torturous. She ate a big parsely leaf yesterday hehe:) No MORE paresely leaves for her.
A verse that God gave me that really speaks to my heart and deepens my convictions about this life: 1 Timothy 6:17
"Command those who are rich in this present world NOT to be arrogant nor to PUT THEIR HOPE IN WEALTH, WHICH IS SO UNCERTAIN, BUT to PUT THEIR HOPE IN GOD, who RICHLY PROVIDES us with EVEYRTHING for our enjoyment".
A perfect message God gave me while I was listening to the radio in the car. We should press on for God's will to be done on this earth and carry the right mindset of who God is.
Another thought on being a "light in this world": On the car I was listening to a pastor speak about us being a light in the dark places...which is this world that is full of corruption, sin, etc. As I was listening I thought, how true....if I want to be a bright light that brings much much glory to God, I need to step out where it is difficult to shine, but knowing that God can let me be a light unto a place that needs to be lit. (Speaking all in metaphorical terms of course=) )
A thought on fearing God: Last Bible study we had a discussion on the fear of man versus the fear of God through Peter's denial of Christ and Habakkuk. It helped me to understand what it means to fear God as I examined WHO God was...His power, His justice, His rage against sin. I thought about how Satan tries to distort a healthy fear of God. For example, when we sin...Satan puts in the wrong kinda of fear where we feel like we CANNOT come back to God and be with Him....thus we end up straying even further from God. We have to remember that when we sin or have guilt for habitual sins, GOD WANTS US BACK! HE IS THERE WITH OPEN ARMS TO FORGIVE AND TO LOVE! This is His promise and the way our heavenly father is. We can approach His throne of Grace with confidence!!(Hebrews 4:6).
So, God has been placing on my heart the desire to teach! I am asking for clear direction, but in a situation like this it gets tricky. Because sometimes God just wants us to GO and to STEP OUT in faith.....not necessarily will it be something like a huge awakening. But thus far, God hasn't been pushing the idea away . Granted there are some difficulties that I have with my parents, my schedule, just simply what are some practical steps to take for now. But God has been faithful. I am so blessed with parents that seek God's will to be done in my life....and that they realize that they are just a keeper of me on earth but that they are to sacrifice me for God's kingdom. I know their concerns for me in terms of living ok on earth financially and such. Even though I may be short sighted in terms of how hard it really is to survive in this world with all the competition, etc etc if I don't make enough money...but I thank God for opening my eyes and the eyes and hearts of my parents in seeing that with God we shall not fear....we should have faith and not just simply think in our heads that God provides and will not forsake us, but make it something we believe with our hearts and to act out that message!! I am 100% that no matter where I go God will provide me with just enough.....God's just shown that too much in the Bible and we hear stories even in our day that it's undeniable. It's exciting because I feel like I am now living out the gospel message more and more. This is by the grace of God alone as He has opened my eyes and has transformed my heart slowly. I continue to press on, on my knees for God to give me HIS heart cry for my life and I will follow with faith.